Crawling on flesh worn-to-the-bone, bloodied, falling,
I see you.
Can’t look at yourself in the mirror because you’re sure
that the wrongness of the wrong was all you.
I see you.
Arguing with god in the secret room in your mind while you
wear an atheist’s robes, I see you.
Believing the people who tell you that you can’t love who you love,
I see you.
Falling through the hole in the floor convinced you’re going to dissolve into the earth’s core,
I see you.
Startling yourself as you speak out loud, because yours is the first human voice you’ve heard in days,
I see you.
Sobbing over the grave of your cat, he was all you had, and this pain has cracked your soul,
I see you.
Looking away from the powerful gaze of the stranger in the cafe because you’re sure it’s not you he’s looking at,
I see you.
Looking back 20 years ago wishing you’d been the you then that you are now,
oh yes, I see you.
Telling yourself to be brave, oh my darling be brave,
I see you.
Resting your chin on your knees, fistful of pills in your left hand, dully wondering if this is your life and this is all it will be,
I see you.
Watching you watch the little-girl-sparkle in your eyes in all those old photos of which there aren’t nearly enough,
I see you.
Believing them when they say that you can’t really be that way,
I see you.
Believing them when they say that you’re not enough,
I see you.
Believing them when they say that you can’t do what you want to,
I see you.
Holding on to yourself because your bones are the only tangible thing left in this world,
I see you.
I am you.
© A. Vardaraj — All Rights Reserved
I see you.
and you are beautiful.
Powerful
Wanted to write something…. But you’ve left me speechless with the last line….
‘I am you’
Thank you. 🙂 *hugs*
Double Like 🙂