Why I’m Thinking of Deleting My Post That Went Viral

It feels like a lost cause to me at this moment because, once again, I’ve checked in to WordPress to find that my sight stats are peaking oddly and that a lot of people are looking at my blog. I feel brief excitement for a moment thinking that perhaps today _someone_ will see the post where I advocate sexual freedom for Indian women and speak about the importance of progress and the consequences of misogynistic double standards and perhaps, just perhaps, it will inspire them.

Then I look at the search terms and those tell a different story. It isn’t progress that has brought people to my blog from all over the world, but smut. Smut, sleaze, and sex. Nearly every search term wants to see Indian women naked, or witness a sexcapade with an Indian woman, or wants to know how to do the dirty with Indian women. In fact, everything I’m opposed to as a feminist as regards the exploitation of women is the reason that men (most likely) are finding their way to this blog from Oman, Saudi Arabia, United Kingdom, Hong Kong, USA, India…

The list is flippin’ endless, and it’s starting to flip me off.

I’m not sure I’m doing anything relevant or worthwhile here, and as if that isn’t enough, I’m frequently finding that a certain person who copied my post word for word, thereby helping to take it viral, but who copied it without my permission, is still spreading vile untruths about the reason he removed my post from his blog. You know what? I’m tired of this bullshit and I’m not staying silent any more, because clearly, that isn’t the way to deal with you. You don’t understand the language of silence because you’re unable to let things be. Let me be very clear about something. You didn’t write my post. Okay? I did. You copied it word for word without my permission, yes, but the only reason it’s gone from your blog is because I objected to the fact that you copied my work. It wouldn’t have killed you to ask me – and to give credit where credit is due. Sheesh, you’re old enough to be my grandfather, but you’re clearly lacking in maturity. Now stop pissing about and telling people that I had a problem with the fact that my post went viral – because I don’t. What I do have a problem with is you lying, constantly. If I find one more comment by you vilifying me, I’m linking to your blog and naming you.

See what I mean? That post has brought me nothing but headaches, over and over, and it’s still being a massive pain in the wrong spot. I’m thinking it’s time to hit delete.


  • stace 20th March 2013 at 2:43 pm

    It is being found by the people who need to see its message. Delete it, and you lessen your effectiveness.

    • Awanthi @ I Speak Awanthi 20th March 2013 at 2:53 pm

      Yeesh. WordPress has made me unfollow you again – and for some reason I had to approve your comment.

  • Rob 20th March 2013 at 2:47 pm

    The strength of the internet is also its weakness. The freedom provisioned by unfettered access for all means that the only regulation is self-regulation. In short, you have to take the rough with the smooth.
    I think you’re doing a valuable job and it’s important that you’re voice is heard. On a selfish level, I enjoy your writing too.
    Please don’t let the tossers grind you down.

    • Awanthi @ I Speak Awanthi 20th March 2013 at 2:52 pm

      Thanks, Rob. That really means a lot coming from you, because I really respect your writing too. I’ll hang in there; I really did want a conversation about this because it’s starting to bother me. On an odd level I feel like I’m not making much of a difference with that post; I badly want people to read it and think about it, but I confess – it’s a bit exhausting having to deal with the tossers – and their search terms.

  • Rob 20th March 2013 at 2:48 pm

    Sorry “your voice” not “you’re voice”: I had a brainstorm.

  • jo f (@httpoet) 20th March 2013 at 2:59 pm

    it is insane how many people on the web feel… I guess ‘entitled’ to free, well, everything. from ad blockers to torrenters to blog plagiarists… it’s all the same entitled bs. no one has respect for copyright (or ‘copyleft’) and it’s pretty disparaging as a creative professional in any field.

    • Awanthi @ I Speak Awanthi 20th March 2013 at 3:02 pm

      It is, and then acting injured and spreading lies about me for exercising my copyright rights for months afterwards… Now that really takes the cake.

      • jo f (@httpoet) 20th March 2013 at 3:23 pm

        it’s not like your blog doesn’t have a “copyright awanthi fucking vardaraj” on it or anything…

        • Awanthi @ I Speak Awanthi 20th March 2013 at 4:10 pm

          Exactly! It’s not like it’s not up there in big bold letters. I’ve had it up there from day one.

  • theaspirationalagnostic 20th March 2013 at 3:42 pm

    Ugh. I feel so angry for you. But keep saying what you are saying. Our words are our power, and it is the least that we can to for those who no longer have the strength to fight.

    • Awanthi @ I Speak Awanthi 20th March 2013 at 4:10 pm

      Thank you, Eva. I really appreciate your kindness and the fact that you stopped to leave me a comment about an issue that has been bothering me for some time. You’re very right about our words being our power. Love and peace to you.

  • Jason Preater 20th March 2013 at 5:07 pm

    It would be sad if you shut up because idiots misquote you, but I can see your point.

    • Awanthi @ I Speak Awanthi 20th March 2013 at 6:47 pm

      Thanks, Jason. It’s just the one post that’s bothering me, but it’s been cathartic to get it out in the open and talk about it. Lots of valuable advice from people I respect.

      Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

  • Faith 20th March 2013 at 7:21 pm

    It would be frustrating that the very thing your blog post is speaking about, oppression and exploitation of women, is what is leading perpetrators to your blog. I’d like to invite you to think of it in a different light. I’m a true believer that teachers and guides appear on my path at times when I need them, whether I’m aware of the need or not. When you write from your heart and your faithful readers gobble your wonderful words up, your are, to be horribly cliche, preaching to the choir. We already adore you and your writing. It’s these very seekers, who are being lead to your words by a search engine, that require your teachings the most. If just one person takes the time to read and think about that very important post, you may have helped him take one step on to the path of awareness.

    • Awanthi @ I Speak Awanthi 20th March 2013 at 8:50 pm

      Thank you, Faith, for your lovely and thoughtful comment. You’re absolutely right; it is horribly frustrating. I was feeling a tad defeated this morning because honestly, I felt like the whole point of the post was being lost. But you (and Rob and Eva) have made me realise, just by your support and advice, that I need to leave it up so that perhaps one day what I hope for will happen. As I said to another commenter, it’s been cathartic to talk about it. I didn’t know what to do and I wanted a conversation, because talking about things helps you see things more clearly, typically. It really has done so in this regard.

      Hugs and love.

  • Adventures in Anderland 20th March 2013 at 11:09 pm

    I’m glad it looks like you decided to leave up the post. I can only imagine the frustration and utter disgust when you’re reviewing site stats and seeing those mysogynistic search terms but I think Faith’s comment is spot on…some of those people mistakenly finding your post may stop to read it and even though I doubt one post, albeit well-written and thoughtful and rightfully angry, will change their minds or atitudes, it just may make an impression and stick in the back of their minds and slowly worm its way through the subconscious to surreptitiously bring about positive change.

    • Awanthi @ I Speak Awanthi 20th March 2013 at 11:36 pm

      It honestly did get to a point this morning where I just wanted to throw my arms up and say ‘Right, I give up’, which is why I sat down and wrote this. With me, writing about things is much more cathartic than anything else; it’s an instant release. This post was honestly a cry for help from my peers and my friends, asking for advice and possibly a shoulder to cry on. The overwhelming support has really been heartening.


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