It’s been far too long. I haven’t written here for months and months, and I suppose I should write a little about how much I missed my blog, and how much I longed to be able to share myself with the world again, but the truth is, I didn’t. I mean, don’t get me wrong; I love my blog. I…
I said something last week that I’m not particularly proud of. During a moment of self-pity when I was bemoaning the tragedy of my life (as I put it so eloquently during that particular moment), and complaining to one of my best friends that I was surely beset with misfortune as I had not yet managed to have a child…
Pista-chio. (Beautiful, expensive, rich.) I have a bag of these, and I don’t know what to do with them. That’s rare for me; it’s rare that I don’t know what to do with an ingredient. But when it comes to these I’m torn. Should I save them for Diwali and add them to a sweet, made with thickened milk, sugar,…
I logged in this evening to find a Happy Anniversary post from WordPress. I Speak Awanthi is two years old. I suppose I should have thrown my blog a party, as so many people seem to do, but the real honest truth of it is that I didn’t remember. Two years old. It’s funny; in the past, in older blogs,…
Pity the daughters of beautiful women who by some twist of genetics do not end up looking like our gorgeous fashionable mothers, but looking more like ourselves instead. They will always be the yardsticks that we will never live up to, and many of us may spend our entire lives trying. People will be unkind and tell us that we…
I understand that searing desire to speak and to be heard. I have it too. As much as all of me yearns for proof and dismisses outright your beliefs for facts, there are times when I long for your faith. Things seem easier for you, somehow, and yet I know that faith in the unseen cannot be easy. Most of…
When you live your life out on social media, open and absolute, there comes a moment when people begin to take you for granted. They think that they know everything there is to know about you, and with that assumption comes a tendency to demand that you do things, say things, and remain an ever-present update in the home page…
People are infinitely strange. For every nice person I meet I seem to end up accidentally running into or talking to quite a few that are not worthy of attention. I have come to the conclusion that I am grateful for the law of averages because it evens things out. It means that I still have the nice interaction from…
There was a time I cared enough to question it, when they said that things would get better. Where is eventually’s address? And are we there yet? Are we there yet? Sitting tracing circles on the smoky windows of memory, Pain says my only options are to resist or serve. The dilemma exists and there’s going to be hell to…
Written on September 16th, 2003 – Based on a conversation with a friend (referred to in this post as ‘you’). I think my failing, my utter failing, is my tendency to feel as much as I can, whether it is pain or joy. I have often plumbed the utter depths of despair, but you have not often seen me like…